#32 FUCK

day/intake

1 >100
2 >100
3 >100
4 >500 WTF

Well, I screwed it up yesterday, BUT I've lost 2 pounds so far.
Also, its not Jan 5, its Jan 3.
Fuck.


9 lbs to go.

#31?

It feels like it should be number 1.
3 months without updating, shame on me.

Anyway...
Im HUGE.
Im a BIG FAT WHORE.

But, at least, Im back on the track.
I need to lose 11 lbs before Jan. 5

#30 Let there be thy weightloss

This is still oh so fucking lonely.
Anyway.
Im 101.5 and I guess Im happy.

To be honest Im starting to give a shit about weightloss, pounds, and food.
I've got no money, ergo, I don't eat, ergo I lose weight.
But it has been so effortless I just feel bad about it.
I should lose weight by fasting, starving myself to fucking death, exercising for hours, not just walking and eating kind of less.
I don't deserve it.

(But Im thankful to all thy gods for that)

# 20'something... HELLO WEIGHT LOSS

Scale read 104.5 lbs

After breakfast, so Im probably 104, but I don't wanna get too excited.



I never thought I could lose weight by... well, eating.

I mean, I haven't binged properly, but I've been eating between 500 -700 calories.

Which is a fucking lot.

This week has turned into something really really good.
Im oficially over Ex fuck buddy, and we're now like really close friends.
Half japanese... well, Im taking things slowly, something I have done only once, so I feel all doofus, I feel like 13 again.
I've lost a couple of pounds.
Im over ex best friend.
Life's peachy.

#28? Breaking the habit.

Food crap....

I've been eating, fasting, pigging out, fasting, etc...
And god bless the plateau.
I mean, I don't like plateaus, but my recently adquired eating habits would lead me to nothing but weight gain if it wasn't for the holy plateau.
(And the fasting after pigging)

But, I must stop that "binge/fast/binge" shit right now.
Especially if I intend to fuck half japanese super hottie.
9_9

I mean, Im always brawling about weightloss being a very personal thing, and should be done to please no one but yourself.
But, I don't like getting intimate with people if Im fat.
Not because of what they might think, but what I think of me.
I disgust me.

So in order to disgust me a little less so I can fuck half japanese without grossing me out, I must stop this.

I must break the habit.

This is getting lonely

#27 God damn you half japanese boys (8)

So Burdett Road Failed again... big deal.
In exactly 3.5 hours I'll stalk teacher, fake boobs, chinese, and Trent Lane.

Yesterday and the day before I went to uni, to see ex fuck buddy, and to stalk the guy from the bus, and to listen to this awsome class (Physics history)
Class starts at 1 pm, so I told EFB to keep a place for me, that I'd catch him in the classroom.
And I didn't find the fucking classroom, so I sitted in the cafeteria praying Cthulhu to
a) Tell ex fuck buddy I was lost, so he would go there to pick me
b) Suddenly find the guy from the bus, and stalk him to death.

Either happened.

Instead....
I saw this guy...
Is he? *
He drinks some water, he's staring at me.
Is he?
If he's not, I'll look quite stupid.
He goes away...
WTF lets stalk.
So I followed him, pointed at him and asked if he was EFB's friend.
Yes, and you are...?
K.
Ohh don't you wear glasses?
Sometimes lol

Blah blah.... he helps me find efb.
<3
Physics History
Found him again, talked for a while.
<3
And I almost blewed it xD

HJB-Oh, aren't you gonna eat?
k- Oh I don't eat.
HJB- What, don't you eat?
K- Erm (fuck fuck fuck) today
HJB- You're not eating today?
K-No, I mean, Im not hungry.
HJP- Oh I see.



.-.

Tell EFB how hot his friend is....

Blah...

Now some history.

* The first day I took PH, EFB introduced me to his half japanese friend.
I was drooling.
His mother must be gorgeous.
He's FAR MUCH better than EFB, and Trent Lane and Guy from the Bus.
But, we didn't even talk.


He's not really tall, but he is taller than me (good enough for me), light brown hair, not long, but not short, beautiful eyes.
I mean BEAUTIFUL, he's got typical asian eyes (I can't remember the word for those kind of eyes) BUT they're yellowish green.
That looks pretty cool (usually asian eyes are dark).
Plus, he's so skinny.
And, the shape of his face *o*
Perfect jaw.
And... he's so skinny he has cheekbones.
SUPER PLUS
EFB told me he's interested in my ffugly self.


Ahhh too many guys <3
(After like 3 months of monogamous "casual" sex with ex boyfriend)

Food, sometimes.
Haven't gained, but haven't lost.